omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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