i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
