haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
