just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
