All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think people are normalizing furries
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
