VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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