Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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