Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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