Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize