alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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