I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
