I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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