Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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