***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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