There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
