we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize