Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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