these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
