My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
