I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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