I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
