Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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