I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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