I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
