he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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