butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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