Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
