Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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