you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Come on in and take your pants off
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