found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
