y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
