Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
