I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize