the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
