I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
