Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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