I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
