I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize