what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
