if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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