the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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