dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
