he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
