I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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