Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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