I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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