My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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