Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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