Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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