you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
