is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
