I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
