Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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