Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize