So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
