I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
