did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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