Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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