sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
